They say, “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.”That’s true. Despite being together since the age of dinosaurs, men and women are different in many aspects, including sexuality.
For most men, women are the most complicated species they will ever meet, especially inside the bedroom. In fact, even the experts are having a hard time uncovering female sexuality. The surprising part is, most women themselves have issues understanding their own sexual needs.
Before you undress a woman and promise her the best sex of her life, here are 16 things you should know about women’s sexuality – plus tips on how to understand women’s sexual needs.
1. First, Get to Know the Meaning of Sexuality – and the Words Within
Apparently, sex, sexual, and sexuality are three different concepts. In fact, sex is just a component of sexuality – and not because it contains only three letters.
Defining the Terms
Sex can be of two things:
- The classification of living things based on reproductive function.
- A physical activity that includes kissing, touching, and exploring each other’s bodies that often leads to sexual intercourse.
The word, “sexual,” is an adjective that relates to the activities, instincts and physiological processes connected with intimate physical contact between two individuals.
Sexuality is a different concept. It is more than just your gender, body parts, orientation and even having sex. Sexuality is a
n integral part of who you are, what you feel, what you believe in, how you respond to others, and your preferences. It includes the physiological, social, psychological, cultural, and religious preferences and beliefs.
In other words, sexuality is all-encompassing. Now that you know the differences, find out everything you need to know about a woman’s sexuality.
2. Every Part Down There Plays an Important Role When It Comes to Female Sexuality
You might think that a woman’s vagina is the only important body part when it comes to pleasing her. Apparently, female sexuality is far more than that.
Get to know the different parts of the female sexual organ:
- Vulva – The exterior portion of your vagina or that area women see when standing in front of the mirror naked.
- Pubic Mound – Also part of the exterior area of a woman’s genitals.
- Labia Majora – Known as the outer lips, which contain layers of fatty tissue to protect women’s vagina.
- Labia Minora – The thinner set of lips that contain nerve endings, blood vessels, and secreting glands. It helps lubricate a woman’s nether region.
- Batholin’s Gland – This is found on each side of the vaginal opening and releases small amount of moisture; however, this is microscopic and not visible to the naked eye.
- Clitoris –This part contains thousands of nerve endings that connect with every single structure in the vagina. It is mainly there for sexual pleasure, which is why you should pay attention to this area.
- G-Spot –It is a spongy area that lies deeper into the vaginal walls, just under the pubic mounds.
When going down on her, make sure that you pay attention to these spots to ensure pleasurable sexual experience. Use your hands, lips, and even tongue to hit the right spots.
This is just the beginning. There is more to learn aside from knowing what the female genitalia is, so stick around.
3. Female Sexuality: An Age-Old Concern That Remains Mysterious to This Day
Here’s the difference between female sexuality and that of men: yours is more defined than hers. Male sexuality is easier to uncover, which is why when it comes to female sexuality, Freud considered it the same as men, sans the penis.
The truth is women’s sexuality is mysterious. Even the experts cannot agree on what constitutes sexual response, sexual dysfunction, or a definitive sexual peak on women. Women are much more complex creatures that even the signs of female arousal vary from person-to-person.
Here lies the issue: women are unable and discouraged to explore themselves and their sexuality without any censure. It could be because of culture, the standards set by their respective societies, and history, which you will learn in the next few sections.
4. Women’s Sexuality: An Influence of Culture and History
Growing up, your mother, grandmother or aunts – even your siblings – may have told you the strangest things about sex and women. Perhaps they often said women must be a virgin until their wedding day, otherwise they are considered as someone with loose morals.
Here is something you should learn about a woman’s sexuality: it is culturally relative. This means sexuality is greatly influenced and shaped by both culture and history. What is prevailing at that time dictates how a woman should act.
For instance, centuries ago, if a woman loved sex and slept with tons of men, she was considered as mentally disturbed. People – at that time – would even look down on her and discriminate her for her sexual preferences.
Fast forward to the 21st century, if a woman doesn’t want sex, she could be dysfunctional or there is something wrong inside her. It could be stress, hormones, or unresolved issues. She might even be diagnosed with female sexuality arousal disorder.
Before you judge yourself or others, consider the time, situation, and social standards. Keep in mind that female sexuality today is challenging cultural repression, which leads you to the next one.
5. Women’s Culture Values Focus More on Male Pleasure than Female Pleasure
Did you know that women are less likely to enjoy sex compared to you? In fact, up to 75 percent don’t get to experience the big O.
One possible reason for this is that vaginal intercourse is not enough for her to climax; however, the bigger picture shows that there is a cultural prioritization of sexual acts that are most pleasurable for you. Women also tend to spend more time attending to your sexual needs and preferences than their own.
You can correct this situation by making her feel that sex is also about her. Explore every inch of her body and make sure you spend enough time down south. Don’t just enter the premises without knocking at her door first. This way, she will feel that her needs are met and there is a higher possibility that she will reach the big O.
Read the next pointer to know more about women and orgasm.
6. The Big O: How It’s Like in the World of Women
By now, you had an idea that orgasm is a serious issue among women. You might even find it alarming that about 10 percent of women have trouble reaching the big O.
Here’s the more alarming part: many women fake it. There is variety of reasons such as:
- Wanting to finish
- To feel better and fulfilled
In case she was able to climax, there are some orgasms that are not earth-shattering and less noticeable. Nonetheless, making her come is not as complicated as you think. The truth is women have reliable and repeatable patterns of arousal and orgasm, which requires external stimulation or foreplay then penetration.
Top Tips to Make Her Orgasm
Here’s how you can get her sexual engine revved up and ready for the big O:
- Kiss her all over your body while focusing on her neck.
- As you kiss her, slowly remove a piece of her clothing.
- Run your tongue around her clitoral head, focusing on the 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock.
- Make sure you build anticipation and don’t go straight to her most precious gem.
- Leave her underwear on as you stroke and caress her vagina.
- Don’t forget to pay attention to her clitoris.
- Provide a calm and relaxing environment to reduce the pressure and make her orgasm instantly.
Keep in mind that making her orgasm is one of the most effective ways to make her feel important. In return, this could boost her confidence and eventually improve her sexuality.
7. Low Female Sexual Desire is “Normal” in a Woman’s World
If you can’t get it up or unable to maintain an erect penis, you immediately think that something is wrong with you. This could cause alarm and the next thing you know, you are buying that magic blue pill to ensure your sexuality is intact.
It’s a different case for women.
Believe it or not, up to 43 percent of women experience some type of sexual dysfunction, including low sexual desire. Some were diagnosed with hypoactive sexual desire disorder or HSDD.
The truth is there are various reasons why she is losing it. These are:
- Being in a long-term relationship
- Aging and menopause
- Unresolved trauma
- Financial issues
- Relationship problems
Still, this doesn’t mean you should allow it. Although female sensuality is a normal occurrence, don’t let this ruin your relationship with your partner.
8. Understanding Female Sexual Fluidity as a Fact of Life
First, what is sexual fluidity?
Sexual fluidity is defined as the understanding that sexual preferences could change over time depending on the situation. It is also about engaging in sexual activities, behaviors, and interests with the same sex.
Given this definition, did you know that female homosexuality is more acceptable?
According to National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyle or Natsal, up to 7.9 percent of women reported having same sex partners – a number that increased for the past 20 years. Although the LGBT community is continuously fighting for equality, lesbianism is more acceptable compared to men. In fact, women are tenderness-entitled and allowed to be one.
Here’s is the surprising part: They also found that straight women are often considered “boring” in bed, since most of them don’t know what to do or are scared of getting down and dirty.
9. The Rom-Com Storyline is a Thing of the Past in the World of Women
Boy meets girl, boy and girl fell in love, and boy and girl lived happily ever after. Everybody knows the storyline and surely, everybody fell for it. Since women are, by nature, more emotional, you think they got attached to the story and wished that their lives will turn out the same.
Not all the time.
Passionate monogamy is the end goal in most relationships just like in many Hollywood movies. However, many women realized that life is not a fairy tale and there is no prince charming to kiss their blues away. They realized that sexual intensity will decline over time and life pressures such as kids have something to do with it.
In other words, female sensuality is affected at one point in their lives.
Still, this doesn’t mean women are made of rocks. They still long for passion, love, connection, and intimacy to get their sex drive and intensity back on track. It is your obligation now to help her get it back.
10. Reality Speaks: Women Enjoy Sex Just as Much as Men Do
Growing up, you learned and discovered that men are wired to enjoy sex and crave for it constantly. That’s true, but did you know that women also enjoy sex and crave for it as much as men do?
You were told that women don’t like sex and don’t think about it all the time. While “all the time” depends on the person, the truth is women enjoy sex, too. In fact, they have their own set preferences, needs, and wants inside the bedroom. A woman’s body comes with tons of erogenous areas waiting for discovery.
Why are women not honest about their sexual cravings?
It all boils down to culture and dictates of the society. The truth is it is less socially acceptable for women to want sex and be honest and open about it. This is why women don’t verbalize their desire that much out of shame, fear, and judgment.
Do you want to know more about female sexuality? Then keep reading, since there are more things in store for you.
11. The Lack of Sexual Drive is Going Beyond the Physical
As women age, they experience a decline in sexual desire due to various factors like:
- Illness, either hers or yours
- Self-image issues
- Hormonal imbalance
These factors affect physical aspect of women’s sexuality in general. Apparently, the lack of sexual desire does not rely on the physical side alone. An emotional prime also exists, which refers to a woman’s maturity, spirit and fluidity. If a woman’s emotional aspect is in bad shape, then her sexuality might likewise collapse.
This only shows that physical and emotional factors interact and are intertwined with each other. Consequently, there is a higher possibility that one often exists with the other.
This is a challenge for most women. It could be harder for them to strike a balance between the two to get her sex drive in tiptop shape.
12. There’s No Such Thing as Female Viagra in a Woman’s Dictionary
The ladies must be envious. When the magic blue pill became available in public, the male world went crazy, hoping to experience the magic of Viagra.
Unfortunately for women, pink Viagra is not yet available.
Drug companies are continuously researching, designing, and developing a pink Viagra that could help women in addressing issues inside the bedroom. Some drugs were tested by the U.S. FDA and approved, but they have not received a favorable reception due to the many side effects they can cause.
One of the toughest challenges in developing pink Viagra is the complexities of female sexuality.For you, all you need is ample supply of blood down south and you can get your man up and running.
It’s a different case for women. Apart from blood supply, emotional connection is crucial if you want her to even consider taking off her clothes when you’re around. Apparently, no drug can address this specific aspect and until now, there is no pink Viagra available for them.
You better get your resources ready to make sure she is in the mood.
13. Women Use Various Techniques to Help Them Get Their Sexy Back
If you are too concerned about a woman’s sexuality, then think about how she feels too. Low libido, refusal to make love, and even putting sex at the end of the priority list can be frustrating for her.
This doesn’t mean it’s the end of the line for her.
In pursuit of their full sex drive, they are willing to explore variety of techniques, methods, and practices that could help them get their sexy back. This could include the following:
- Trying mindfulness techniques or stillness exercises such as yoga and meditation.
- Setting date and sex nights to help them get their groove back inside the bedroom.
- Rekindling old hobbies or passion to help relieve them from stress.
- Taking a break such as going on a vacation or having some alone time.
Whatever her choice may be, the important thing is to allow her to reconnect with herself. This could heighten her sexual interest and you might even notice she will bounce back to her old sexual self.
14. There is a Desire to Look Desirable That Surprisingly Exceeds Desire Itself
There will always be that constant pressure among women to look beautiful and desirable. Thanks to the media, advertising, and the flourishing role of social media, women often feel the need to be at their best, which also affects their sexual self-esteem.
What happens if she feels like she doesn’t live up to such high expectations?
It starts to affect her self-esteem and makes her change her view about herself. The surprising part is she even looks at her area down there undesirable too.
Apparently, having sex is not enough to help her change her mindset. Rather than doing the deed, she would even do everything she could to look as if she had sex. She starts to chase the veneer of desirability to help her get her confidence back.
You might not understand the rationale behind it, but it turns out that women are wired to feel that way.
15. Women Have Fantasies Too and You Might Find Them Surprising
If you think that only men have sexual fantasies and preferences, then think again. Believe it or not, even women have the most outrageous fantasies inside the bedroom.
Some of the most common sexual fantasies of women include:
- Group sex or a threesome.
- Sex with a stranger or a one-night stand.
- Women playing the dominant role.
- Role playing particularly teacher-student where she plays the student – in uniform.
- Making homemade porn videos where you and her are the main characters.
- Doing a striptease for you or a stranger.
What does this mean?
Women have their own set of bedroom fantasies that they want to do at one point in their lives. You can be her genie and fulfill her wishes, but make sure you talk about it first, agree on what to do, and set some boundaries. This way, the experience is more on pleasure and not pain. It definitely brings female sexuality to another level.
16. The Fastest Ways to Her Heart
Do you want to know how to make a woman fall for you? Aside from bringing her in places with the best tasting foods, giving her the best and mind-blowing orgasms will surely make her fall for you.
You might be wondering why.
While this claim is controversial, sex and orgasm enables her body to release oxytocin, a type of hormone that encourages her to put her guard down, trust you more, and makes it easier for her to fall for you. In other words, a great sex could bring different emotions and make attraction easier.
A tip to remember: don’t just use sex to your advantage. It would help if you are interested in her, not just for sex, but for a possible relationship. Otherwise, a woman could tell if you are only trying to get into her pants.
The Bottom Line
Women are complicated creatures that don’t come with a manual. They can drive you crazy one day, and make you fall for them the next time you see them. Whatever your story may be, don’t forget these 16 facts about female sexuality. It will be easier for you to understand her more and who knows, it might lead to something else.