Are you single and hoping to find the love of your life? Some pieces of relationship advice are a mess. Sometimes they tell you to be active to find the one and other times, they tell you fate will lead you to it. What should you do then? Which way should you choose? Do you look for it or do you wait for it?
Relationships are a work in progress, from finding one to keeping it. This article is all about relationship advice for men who want to find the love of their lives.
1. Stop Looking and Start Looking Inside of You
Both men and women often make the mistake of jumping into a relationship thinking that they need someone to complete them or make them happy. This is one of the reasons why many people stay in abusive, unsatisfying or unhealthy relationships because their happiness relies on another person.
Stop looking and focus on making yourself whole first before jumping into the dating pool again. Start by accepting and loving yourself for who you are, heal your past, discover what you want in life and go after it. Your journey to finding the love of your life starts with you.
2. Know Your Worth
Too many people settle for less because they deep inside think they deserve nothing more. Too many people stay in abusive and miserable relationships because they think they will never find “love” again. Too many people let their partners take them for granted or treat them like crap because they, too, do not value themselves.
Furthermore, people who do not know their worth are often insecure and insecurity is not a trait other people find attractive.
A bit of finding the love of your life: accept yourself for who you are, know your limits and strive to be better. When you know your worth, you don’t have to go on pleasing others, and you won’t let others treat you like dirt. Knowing your self-worth does not mean you should be arrogant or to think highly of yourself. It means loving and respecting yourself so others would love and respect you.
Self-love is one of the main foundations of a solid relationship.
Another piece of relationship advice for men after they break up with someone is to deal with insecurities first to avoid making yourself vulnerable again.
3. Do Not Let Others Tell You How You Should Live Your Life
You do not need someone to find fulfillment in life; you have to do it by yourself, and you can find it if you do what makes you happy.
Doing what makes you happy means being honest with what you want in life. It means not letting anybody else dictate what you should do or care too much about what they will think about you. There may be people whom you will disappoint but doing what makes you happy will bring you to the right path where you will find contentment and fulfillment with your job, the people around you and your relationships.
4. Don’t Pretend Just to Please Someone
Learning to accept yourself as you are and living your life the way you want it instantly makes you more attractive because it makes you more positive, genuine, passionate and real. It also increases your chance of finding someone who is your perfect match.
Whereas if you change the way you are or pretend to be the ideal guy you think would attract the ladies you are making yourself unhappy. It won’t be long until you show your true self, which is not what attracted her to you. Eventually, it will lead to an unhappy and unsatisfying relationship for the both of you.
There’s a good reason why most articles that provide relationship tips for men tell them not to pretend to be someone they are not just to please a potential partner. Wear the clothes you are comfortable with, live within your means and do the things you enjoy. Be yourself but strive to be a better version of yourself.
5. Develop the Traits You’re Looking for in a Partner
You may be unconsciously attracted to someone that represents a part of you that you suppressed long ago. This is a type of bonding pattern, and the attraction can occur unexplainably.
As young children, people have a part of themselves they disown to survive or to thrive in their family or their community. For example, a child with irresponsible parents may have to take responsibility at a young age. Thus, this responsible person will end up attracted to a person who needs caring. This is usually one of the relationship problems for men where they constantly feel the need to save the damsel in distress.
On another scenario, a child may need to toughen up at an early age with no loving parents to nurture him; thus, he is likely to be attracted to a nurturing person.
Bonding patterns are normal and inevitable; however, it can affect relationships negatively especially if problems arise. The partner of the responsible person may become too dependent and forget that she has her responsibilities too, and the tough person may depend on his partner to do all the nurturing.
Before jumping into a relationship look inside yourself and restore the part or parts you disowned. Look back into your previous relationships and look for a common attraction factor that indicates a bonding pattern. If you notice a certain trait, develop this trait in yourself.
6. Engage With Life
Have you ever experienced looking for something and still can’t find it even after looking in every corner of your home? And, it will only resurface once you stopped looking.
Do not focus too much on finding the right person to the point that you direct almost all your activities to this one goal alone. Stop hopping from blind dates to blind dates. Stop scrolling down on dating sites profiles. Just stop looking, engage with life and do what you enjoy. For all you know she might be at your friend’s party, at the art exhibit or your next vacation destination.
Go on with your life and connect with people you meet along the way without thinking she could be the one. The more you build genuine relationships and bonds, the more you are likely to find a genuine partner for life.
7. Let Things Unfold Naturally
When you finally meet someone whom you think is a potential partner in life, allow the connection to develop genuinely.
Let your relationship unfold on its own based on what is real. There is no need to pretend to be someone else, no need to create a more desirable image, to play mind games or try the seduction or hypnosis techniques you read online just to make her stay. Let your feelings unfold toward each other based on who you truly are.
Every person is unique and in turn, the relationships they build are unique. You cannot plan which way your relationship should go. There is not one thing you can do or words you can say that yield the same result. You have to go along with the process, make decisions as you go and just be real with yourself and her.
8. Insecurity Can Kill a Relationship
Insecurity is one of the root causes of many relationship problems. Insecurity will eventually break your relationship if you don’t deal with it. Constantly checking on your partner’s phone, constantly checking on her whereabouts and who she’s with and being needy are signs of being insecure. Mind you, the people around insecure people tend to abandon them because they are annoying and draining, as they impose their insecurities on other people.
Get yourself together before you ruin what could be a great start. Overcome your insecurity by understanding where it’s coming from. You can visit this to help you overcome your insecurity effectively. You can also join a relationship advice for men forum in dealing with your insecurities.
9. Communicate Openly
Open communication with your partner allows you to make fair decisions, resolve issues, to share interests and to share how you feel about each other or certain situations. Whereas if you do not communicate with each other, you could be harboring resentment and ill feelings towards each other due to unresolved issues. Dissatisfaction can also arise when there is no communication in the relationship because you cannot keep guessing about each other’s feelings every time.
Be a good listener and avoid reacting unreasonably so you’ll encourage your partner to open up to you every time. If you have issues or concerns, send your message clearly. Resolve your problems as early as possible, but learn when to step back of your partner is not ready. Avoid throwing blame at each other; instead, come up with a solution. Open communication is a unified effort so ask your partner to do the same.
10. Don’t Take Her for Granted
A lot of men, and women as well, are guilty of taking their partners for granted after being together for years. Many people don’t exert an effort to please their partners once in a while because they get too comfortable that their partners will be around, no matter what. She may stay, but is she happy and for how long?
Your partner should be tops on your priority list. Take time to spend quality time with her. Do things for her without her asking. Appreciate the things she does for you and tell her in words. Make her feel special with little surprises.
11. Decision-Making Should Involve Her
A lot of men are guilty of making decisions by themselves, especially if they give a bigger financial contribution to the relationship. No matter how small or big the matter is, ask your partner’s opinion about it. Letting her pitch into the decision-making is a way of showing that you respect her and that you care about what she has to say.
12. Don’t Keep Reoffending
People will commit mistakes because nobody is perfect, but don’t use this nobody-is-perfect card to keep committing the same mistakes again and again. As Rob Hill said, you can’t make the same mistakes twice, the second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake it’s a choice.
When you say sorry, mean it and do your best not to make the same mistakes again. She may forgive, but she may never forget, and once she’s done, there is nothing you can do to change her mind.
13. Avoid Putting Yourself into Situations That Could Lead to Cheating
Cheating does not happen in the spur of a moment. You cheated because you allowed yourself to be in that situation.
For example, a few flirty texts with your hot officemate became flirty conversations, and then you’ll start making up excuses to work late. The excitement of this secret relationship is slowly taking over your steady relationship until you end up cheating on your partner.
So, what’s your excuse? That you’re only human? That it’s her fault because she’s not giving you enough attention? Relationship advice for guys like this: Grow up. It happened because you let it happen. If you have issues, talk to your partner. Don’t put yourself into situations that you know could end badly.
14. Let Her Know How Important She is to You
You won’t realize the value of a person until you lose her. Don’t wait for this time to happen before you do something. Envision yourself and your life without her. How would you feel? How would you be? Let her know how important she is to you not just with words. Back it up with actions.
15. Stop Checking Out Other Women
In case you not aware of this, turning your head to check on another woman when you are with her is just plain disrespectful; enough with those excuses that it’s men’s nature to look, or she’s insecure if she can’t handle it. A real man knows how to make her lady feel special and this is definitely not one of them.
You can ogle all you want, but when you are with her, keep your eyes on her. Make her feel that she’s the most beautiful or sexiest woman in the world. She knows she is not, but she wants to be the most beautiful in your eyes.
16. Be Honest, But in a Gentle Way
When you have to point out something, be honest and gentle at the same time. If you find the dress she is wearing unflattering, don’t say “You look awful in that dress.” Instead say “Honey, I think the red dress looks sexier on you.”
Women are sensitive when it comes to criticism, but you do not have to walk on eggshells every time you want to point something out or pretend that nothing’s amiss. How you say it can make a huge difference.
17. Don’t Walk Away From Confrontations
Don’t walk out or pretend not to hear anything if your partner is confronting you about something. She’s talking to you because she’s hurt, and she wants answers and explanations. Respond calmly and talk clearly. Don’t leave out details that could raise more doubts.
Remember, when your partner is asking you about something, she already knows the answer, but she wants to hear it straight from you. Be honest.
How can you stop walking out in the middle of a verbal argument? Prevent it from happening in the first place. Make an agreement with your partner to avoid confrontations at the height of your emotions.
18. Work on Your Sexual Satisfaction
Sexual satisfaction is an important factor in a long-lasting relationship. You don’t have to be full of surprises every time you hit the sack or be highly flexible to perform out-of-this-world bedroom stunts. Know what ticks your partner in bed and do it. It’s that simple.
Pleasure and satisfaction are not just man’s needs. Communication is crucial key if you want a healthy and satisfying sex life. Talk about what you like and how you like it.
19. Love is More Than an Emotion, It’s a Choice
To be in love is the best thing in the world; that wonderful feeling of seeing the person you love, the hugs, the passionate kisses and the excitement at the thought of spending your life together. These fleeting emotional will eventually fade, and it is now in your hands if you will choose to stay in love or find that fleeting feeling again.
Choosing to stay in love requires commitment and hard work because it means accepting your partner as she is, despite her flaws and shortcomings.
The best relationship advice for men who want to find the love of their lives is perhaps that they should learn to love themselves first. According to the famous author, Dodinsky, “You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you.”
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Are you in search for the love of your life? This relationship advice for men will help you find the love of your life and make your relationship last.