You and this guy have been good friends for quite some time now. You hang together. You do things together. You even go out from to time, but just as close pals. As time goes by, you can’t help but feel like you want your relationship with him to develop into something more. What you can’t understand is why he is not considering the same thing.
When it comes to figuring out exactly what men want, think about your history with them. Ask yourself these questions: Are you the type of woman who usually wins over a guy’s affection, or are you the kind of woman guys delegate to the friend zone? Will you and your guy friend just stay buddies for good?
You have to be willing to make some changes if you want this guy to see you as something more, so keep reading.
Figuring Out What Men Want: The Keys to Get You Out of His Friend Zone
If you are worried that this dream guy of yours will just see you as a friend for good, don’t stress out. There are a number of ways to cleverly move out of the friend zone and into the attraction zone. Here are some you can start trying on your guy friend right away:
1. Accept your situation and make it work to your advantage. Because you’re getting more and more attracted to him, the fact that he only sees you as a friend is probably starting to bum you out. The truth is, it really shouldn’t. There are a lot of advantages that come with being friends with a guy you are interested in romantically.
Since he sees you as a part of his social circle, there is a good chance that he will ask you to join him during some nights out. Spending some casual time with him also allows you to get to know him more without any perceived awkwardness between the two of you. This way, you can figure out what he likes in a girl and in a relationship before you decide on your next move.
2. Go out with someone else. For example, when you have been friends with a guy ever since you were kids, it is sometimes hard for him to see you as a grown up woman that he should consider going out it with seriously. You can remedy the situation with one simple trick: going out with someone else.
When he sees you out having a good time with another guy, he will see you in a different light, come to his senses and realize how attractive you are. This way, he is also able to see how great a date you would make if he were to ask you out.
Don’t be surprised if he starts showing signs of jealousy and suddenly asks if you would ever consider going out with him on a real date.
3. Don’t make any effort towards him. Sometimes, getting your guy friend attracted to you is really just a matter of making it appear that you’re not interested. What men want is sometimes just like a movie, they look for a challenge and they end up falling hard.
4. Don’t talk about your sex life around him. Remember, when it comes to the initial stages of attraction for a friend, what men want sexually can still be quite irrelevant. He’s still trying to convince himself that he wants more time with you. Throwing sex into the picture can just make your relationship a whole lot more awkward.
5. Make yourself unavailable. When your guy friend keeps asking you to hang out with him and your other friends, learn to say no from time to time. Let him know you’ve got something else planned or you’re going out with someone else. If he is into you, he’ll take it as a sign that he should let you know how he really feels soon.
6. Keep your distance. This may be a challenge, but try not to make your life revolve around the thought of him all the time. Take it upon yourself to spend less time with him and your common circle. Take up a new hobby and consciously skip meeting up with him. You’d be surprised at how much he will end up missing your company.
7. Use body language. Contrary to what you may think, don’t try to touch him. Instead, make yourself look slightly withdrawn when engaging with him. For instance, be sure to let him know that while you’re interested in whatever he is talking about, you will also most likely stand up and leave in the middle of his story if you find something more interesting.
It may be harsh, but doing this may just get him more intrigued by you than a friend normally is.
8. Dress a way that could drive him nuts.
As his friend, you would know what he finds attractive in a woman. You even probably know what kind of outfit drives him crazy. Go ahead and put something like that on and then go out with another guy. You can also appear before him then tell him and your friends that you can’t join them because you made other plans.
This way, you will drive him crazy without letting him know you’ve been meaning to. He may not admit it right away, but he’s starting to think what men want in bed is someone who looks a bit like you. Now, that’s absolutely not how you think about a friend.
9. Show off the likeable side of you. Go ahead and show him why guys get interested in you. Give him more than a glimpse of your best self. Before you know it, he’s falling for you.
10. Make improvements on yourself. Especially when you’re trying to get a guy’s affection, it always helps to keep striving to improve yourself. Any man, after all, finds a woman who values herself highly quite attractive.
11. Try to get to know your friend even more. If you actually want to have a relationship with him, it’s best to get to know him better. It would also give you a good idea of whether you want to get intimate with him.
12. Ask a few casual favors from him. Give him a reason to see you without the rest of your group by asking him for a few favors that would allow you to spend some time together. This way, he’ll also feel that you need him.
13. Get him to open up to you. Talking intimately about something serious brings out real feelings in a guy. In the middle of this talk, a spark just might happen.
14. Just tell him the truth about your feelings. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to just let him know how you feel about him. It can be risky but this way, you don’t have to play games and risk giving him the wrong message.
15. Make the first move. If you are feeling pretty gutsy, you might want to try making the first move when it comes to your guy friend. Ask him out and see how he responds.
Figuring out what men want can be helpful in letting you to take your relationship with your guy friend to the next level. See what works for the two of you. Don’t be too aggressive. Take it nice and slow. Soon, he will realize that you’re more than a good friend to him.
The Laws of Attraction: What Do Men Want in a Woman?
First, you need to acknowledge that universally, what men want in a woman tend to be somewhat the same. Sure, they don’t all fall for the same type of woman, but there are qualities that guys look out for when they are trying to decide whether they want to ask a woman out or not. Typically, what a man wants in a woman include these qualities:
- Modesty: Although a man can be intrigued by a woman who shows how sure she is of herself, when she starts flaunting and bragging too much, most guys get turned off rather quickly. What men want is someone who knows she looks and acts great, but isn’t always bragging to the rest of the world about it. What men find attractive more is a quiet kind of confidence.
- Soft-Heartedness: Let’s face facts, every man who wants to be in a relationship wants to be loved. More importantly, they want to feel loved. This is why what men really want is someone who shows them how much they care about them. It’s almost like they are being nurtured, but not in a motherly kind of way. To a certain extent, what men want in a relationship is someone who would love and be concerned about them.
- Loyalty: Just like women, men’s eagerness towards starting a relationship is often better encouraged when they see a woman who they can trust to be loyal to them. What men need is a woman who is willing to date exclusively. They may not tell you, but seeing a woman they’ve got their eyes on out with someone else can seriously devastate them, no matter how much they say they are over it.
- Friendship: Men typically prefer a woman who has a social life of her own. She doesn’t necessarily have to be the life of every party, but it would be great if she has a social circle that she meets up with regularly or on occasion. This way, should they become a couple, they can choose to hang out with their friends and no one will feel bad about leaving the other one behind.
- Maturity: If you ask men, they’ll tell you that one of the traits they admire most in a woman is her maturity. Men like being around a woman who is sure of herself and who knows the kind of girl she is. She doesn’t apologize for her preferences. She also doesn’t change herself for anyone. Men admire this quality, and rightfully so.
- Communicativeness: For some reason, every time a couple fights, the woman tends to shut down when it comes to communication. Instead of saying what is making her so upset, she tends to just give her man certain menacing looks, thinking he will get the message. The problem is men are not born to read minds. In the end, the problem simply grows bigger and the fight becomes more intense.
This is why men prefer to be with a woman who is willing to talk. Particularly, they want someone who still keeps talking to them even when an argument ensues. When it comes to their relationships, men want to reconcile after a heated fight. For this to happen though, women need to be willing to communicate about what upset them in the first place.
- Passion: Men admire a woman who is devoted to a cause or her career as much as they are. A woman is driven to succeed in her chosen field is something that men easily finds sexy. During your date or casual meet-up, what men want to hear are exciting stories about what you’ve been doing or your future plans for your career. You can’t just look smart – you have to be smart, too.
Now that you know the universal qualities that men tend to look for in a woman, it’s time to gain a better understanding of how love works for a man. When it comes to relationships, men and women are quite different species. For instance, the way a man falls for a woman is entirely different than how a woman ends up falling for a man.
From Appreciation to Serious Love: How Men Fall for Their Dream Woman
Believe or not, a man falls for a woman in stages. They don’t just see them, get attracted to them and want to get intimate with them right way. The process is gradual. You might also be interested to know that towards the end, a man may also choose the to end his affections after giving so much effort to just get the girl the notice him, just like in the 1930’s What Men Want movie, which is about two sisters who fall for the same man.
First Stage – Appreciation
Anyone can understand this stage. It’s that moment when a man looks across the room and sees a woman he can’t help but take a second look at. He’s drawn to her, so fascinated that he can’t stop looking. He knows he should, but he can’t turn his eyes away from her. She intrigues him.
Many say that this stage is purely based on physical attraction. He does not want to know more about you yet. He just enjoys looking at you and appreciating how you appear. If this should continue, it means a man is moving on to the next stage with you without him even realizing it.
Second Stage – Infatuation
When you get a man’s attraction one night and then end up running into him again, soon after, there’s a good chance that his appreciation for you would develop into an infatuation.
This time, he getting interested in you. He keeps looking your way. He is also hoping that he would see you looking back at him. This is the time he is making a conscious decision if he should pursue asking you out. At this stage, he’s also looking for a sign from you, any telltale hint that can tell him he can come up to you and ask for your name.
Third Stage – Attraction
A man only moves into the attraction stage should the woman he’s interested in gives him a hint that she may be interested in him too. This is what prompts a man to pursue a woman and get her to like him back.
At this stage, a man has gone beyond mere fascination. It’s no longer about casually approaching a woman and asking her if she might go out with him. There is something greater at stake for a man here. There is a part of him that is already invested in the idea of being with a particular girl.
If a woman were to turn him down at this stage, he would feel rejected. Much worse, he can also possibly feel heartbroken. It’s an exciting time for a man, but it is risky too.
Fourth Stage – Impression
At this stage, a man may not have fallen completely in love with a woman yet, but he is determined to encourage her to reciprocate his growing feelings. He works hard to make a great impression. He showers her with all the affection he is capable of giving. He buys her gifts. He makes an effort to compliment her. He does his best to do everything right.
He puts his best foot forward. He is trying to show her how good they can be together. He has not look so far into the future yet, but he is aware that having a relationship with the woman he’s with is a good thing and he is determined to show her that he can be good for her.
Fifth Stage – Conviction
This stage may be exciting, but it can also be incredibly stressful for the man. At this point, all he is thinking about is how to make the woman of his dreams fall for him. He would really want her to like him back just as much. The uncertainty of whether she is willing to just go out with him exclusively or not is taking its toll on him. More than anything, he wants a clear sign that their relationship is going somewhere.
This stage also tends to be more complicated when the girl the guy is interested in happens to be a good friend. When they have known each other a while, a guy would think that she’s harder to impress since she might know all his usual moves. In this case, what men need at this stage is to find a way for the girl to like him a whole lot more.
Sixth Stage – Reaffirmation
The moment a man is convinced that his dream woman has fallen for him, he surprisingly decides to take a step back. He has been so focused on winning the girl this entire time that he has not really been paying much attention to his own feelings. You might find it surprising but suddenly, the man is trying to decide what he really wants.
Before he reached this stage, the pursuit was his main goal. He saw her. He got intrigued. He wanted her notice him too so he drew her in. Now that he has done that, he can now concentrate on what he wants from her.
This is the stage when he is trying to figure out if he wants to pursue a more intimate relationship with the woman he’s has been so fascinated with. He will now decide this is a woman he will be happy to have a relationship with. At this point, he may take a few days, or even weeks, to think things through.
Seventh Stage – Falling in Love
Once he is done thinking things through and he realizes he wants to be with a woman more than anything, a man will now admit to himself that he is ready to completely fall in love with his object of affection.
He is now willing to declare his love for you. He knows he wants to be with you more than anything. This is perhaps the time when he asked you formally if you would like to be a couple. He would also ask you if you are willing to see each other exclusively.
On the other hand, if a man decides that he doesn’t want to pursue a woman anymore, this is also the stage when he loses any attraction or interest in her. It won’t come as a surprise if you suddenly stop hearing from him. On his part, it’s like a spell was broken and he is now moving on from you.
If you have been friends with a guy you’re interested in for quite some time, there’s a chance you are capable of reading signs when he is interested in a woman. Use these to your advantage and also keep these stages of falling in love in mind. If you think after abiding by these guidelines you are still being friend zoned, it may be time to try step your game up a little bit more.